Little Wards Almanac

HEAVEN OR HELL  While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."   "No problem, just let me in," says the Senator. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and goes down, down, down to hell.  The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club house and standin...

F OUR OLDER ITALIAN LADIES These four older ladies who lived in Naples , Italy , always sat outside   Together near the church and chatted about when they were younger. One month ago they pooled their money together and bought a laptop. Never having been to, but having heard all about Florida , they just happened to click on St. Augustine, Florida.  They read all about the   Fountain of Youth , claimed by the Spaniards when they arrived there. They collected up all they had left and sent for four bottles of youth water.   As soon as it arrived, they drank as directed.  The rest of this story will make you a believer, because here are the 2 oldest ones today … ...