Little Wards Almanac

Alice   Grayson was to   bake a   cake for the  Baptist   Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa, but forgot to do   it until the last minute.   She   remembered it the morning   of the   bake sale and after  rummaging   through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix   &  quickly   made it while drying her hair, dressing, and helping   her son pack for scout camp.     When she   took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped   flat And  the cake   was horribly  disfigured and she   exclaimed, "Oh dear,   there is  not time   to bake another cake!"   So, being   inventive, she looked around the   house   for   something to build up the center of the   cake. ...

Racist - me ?   Written by a Brit, but so true here in the USA…. I for one am sick of political correctness …you haven’t seen racism until you get a bunch of so called minorities together…..maybe they all ought to go back to countries that appreciate their color, religion or way of life, and get the HELL out of the USA…they don’t appreciate it anyway so LEAVE!!! A thought provoking passage written by an Englishman about the current situation in HIS homeland  - This is thought provoking and is equally relevant in any other (once) white country. I have been wondering about why Whites are racists, and no other race is ... There are British Africans, British Chinese, British Asian, British Turks, etc, etc, etc And then there are just British.,. You know what I mean, plain ole English people that were born here. You can include the Welsh, the Scottish and the people who live off our shores of Great Britain on ...

The Twenty and the One A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired.   As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.    The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country.   "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City , the finest restaurants in New York , performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean ."   "Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!"   "So, tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"   The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church , the Baptist Church , the Lutheran Church ."   The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?...

This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man.   I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all.  I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed,   I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.     I was working on my MBA on-line.  I had no bills and no debt.  I even had full medical coverage." I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened?  Drugs?  Alcohol?  Divorce?" "Oh no, nothing like that," he said.  "No, no.  I got out of prison." American taxpayers pay, on average, $160 a day to keep a criminal in jail. 

Heartwarming Farm Kid Writes Home After Joining The Marines. This Is Priceless. A young farm kid wrote home after joining the marines with this letter. Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting used to it, so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the t...

Hilary just started new money suck - er, gig, er... scam ... i mean PAC......  The positioning for 2020 has begun.

A couple was celebrating 60 years together. Their three kids, all successful, agreed to a  Sunday  dinner in their honor. "Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed Son No. 1. 'Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift." "Not to worry," said the father. "Important thing is we're all together  today ."   Son No. 2 arrived. "You and Mom look great, Dad   .I just flew in from Montreal between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you. "It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."   Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! Sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."   After they had finished...