What am I

 I used to think I was just a regular guy, but . . . I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.
 
I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist.
 
I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobic.
 
I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.
 
I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel.
 
I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a member of the vast gun lobby.
 
I am older than 70, which makes me a useless old man.
 
I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.
 
I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.
 
I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.
 
I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.
 
I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens, which now makes me a militant.
 
Recently, a sick old woman called me and my friends a “basket of deplorables”.
 
Please help me come to terms with the new me . . . because I'm just not sure who I am anymore!
 
I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, new found changes in my life and my thinking!
 
I just can't imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly!
 
Funny . . . it's all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years! As if all this crap wasn't enough to deal with. I'm now afraid to go into either restroom!

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